Fighting for Us Read online

  “I know for a fact that if I’d never been found, I would’ve died. But not before they raped me over and over again. Before they’d gotten some sick pleasure from hurting me, torturing me. I didn’t let them take anything from me that I couldn’t get back. It cost me a lot of pain, and I know so many of those wounds and scars are emotional, and it’s gonna take me a lot of time before they even start to heal. But I really am okay, Levi. I’m home safe with you.”

  I open my eyes and look at the beautiful yet hurting man in front of me. I reach out to brush the tears off his stubbled cheeks, then lean forward to gently kiss him.

  “I love you, Levi. I’m sorry that you think you didn’t help me, but you did. You are the only reason I’m alive. I knew you wouldn’t let me go.”

  “I never will, baby. Without you, my heart isn’t whole. I’m not even half the man I know how to be without you. I promise, when we’re both ready to be together in the way you want, we will. But just give it time, Em. My love for you will never lessen. And stop hiding your pain and emotions. Fuck, I feel like a douchebag for breaking down again just now. I’m supposed to be strong for you and help you.”

  “No. You’re my hero. You really are. You are strong, Levi, but like you just said, hiding your pain, holding it back? It’s only hurting you. If we’re gonna heal and move on, we need to stop pretending and start talking. If that means we close the door and cry, then that’s what we do. If it means watching a movie we’ve seen a hundred times, then we do that. We’re stronger together, Levi. We need each other. I love you, so much more than you know.”

  Levi gives me a small smile, and then he pulls the blankets back, crawling into bed next to me. We lie on our sides facing each other, one of his strong arms tight around my back. He presses a soft kiss to my forehead and then closes his eyes.

  “I love you, baby. And no more extra showers, okay? That kills me. Just come to me when you feel that way and we’ll find other ways to get you through it. I’m going to do whatever it takes to fix this. To get you healthy again.”

  “I just need you, Levi. We’ll be okay. You promise?”

  “I promise, baby. Now close your eyes and sleep. No bad dreams, okay? Just think about this beautiful world we have together. Only sweet dreams.”

  “You are my dream, Levi Jackson.”

  I feel his smile against my skin, and I follow him into the first peaceful night of sleep I’ve had in a month. No bad dreams, just Levi and me.

  CHAPTER 25

  Levi

  “DADDY, COME ON! I want to see the stingways!”

  We’re back at the aquarium today, just Emmy, Lily, and me. I felt like we needed a day to get out of the house and have some fun again. I wanted to go to the movies, but Lily insisted, so here we are. She’s holding tight to both mine and Em’s hands, giggling and bouncing around. We probably shouldn’t have let her eat ice cream at ten in the morning, but fuck it.

  Today is a big day for us.

  It’s the first day of the rest of our lives together, forever. Every day Em gets stronger, gets better, and I couldn’t be any prouder of her. I’m in awe of her strength and every time I think she’ll regress, fall back into her fears, she pushes forward, fights them.

  Her nightmares are finally starting to go away; she’s only had one in the last couple weeks. She sleeps at night again. Sometimes I hear her get up to check on Lily, but I know that’s something that goes farther than what happened to her. This whole nightmare started with someone trying to take Lily. I still have moments where I catch myself being extra watchful, refusing to take my eyes off her, forcing her to hold my hand even when it’s not necessary.

  Lily breaks the connection with us and goes running. I see the fear wash over Emmy, but then she closes her eyes and takes several deep breaths. Squeezing her hand, I watch Lily standing in front of the touch tank, waiting her turn to feel the stingrays in the water. After a moment, Em squeezes back and I know she’s okay.

  Stepping forward, we help Lily climb up on the bench, laughing when she touches the stingray and squeals. Emmy holds her phone up and we both smile at her, happiness written all over our faces. When another one goes by, I sink my hand into the water and let it run under my fingers, feeling the almost slimy skin. Shivering, I yank my hand back and laugh when I see the look on both Em’s and Lily’s faces.

  “What?” I ask, playing it off like it was nothing.

  “Gross, huh?” Emmy laughs, covering her mouth with her hand.

  Shaking my head, I stand up and pull Lily into my arms, resting her on my hip.

  “How about we go see the sharks, baby?” I ask Lily, who claps in delight.

  “Oh yes! Let’s go,” she shouts, pointing in the direction of the exhibit.

  Laughing, I carry her and take Emmy’s hand in mine. Together we let ourselves get lost in the wonderful world of the sea, not leaving until it’s closing time and we have no choice.

  When we pull into our driveway hours later, Lily is sound asleep in the back seat and Emmy is looking beat next to me. Without waking her, I carry my baby inside and get her into bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin and shutting off the light. Backing out of her room, I step into the hallway to find Emmy waiting for me.

  “I know it’s early, but I think I’m gonna turn in. Want to watch a movie together?” she asks softly.

  I nod and follow her into our bedroom. Stripping to my boxer briefs, I climb into bed and wait for my girl. Em heads into the bathroom and comes out a minute later in one of my old T-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts, hair pulled up in a ponytail.

  “Find anything good?” she asks as she climbs into the bed. Plugging her phone in, she pulls the blankets back and gets comfy next to me, resting her head on my bare chest.

  “We can either watch some new Marlon Wayans comedy or we can watch the greatest superhero known to mankind,” I say, clicking through the channels.

  “Deadpool?” she asks, and I laugh.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I joke, putting the movie on.

  “Well, for the record, he’s not the best superhero. He’s just the superhero with the best ass.”

  Emmy begins giggling when I toss her back onto the bed, falling down on top of her.

  “Care to repeat that, baby?” I growl, placing kisses to her jaw, suppressing the urge to bury myself deep inside her when her body shivers.

  “I said Ryan Reynolds has the best ass ever.” She tries to wiggle away from me but I cage her in, taking her lips with mine. In seconds, we’re both panting and worked up. She tears her mouth from mine and I look down at her, taking in her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.

  “I love you, Mr. Jackson.”

  “I love you too, Ms. Reese.”

  “Let’s watch the movie, boyfriend with the best ass ever.”

  “Now was that so hard to admit?”

  Laughing, we get comfortable as the opening credits begin to roll.

  It’s late evening, and I toss a few more blankets in the bed of my truck. Emmy is visiting her parents, so I’m gonna have some alone time with Lily, and I have a huge surprise planned for her. The bed is filled with soft pillows and blankets, and I packed a small cooler with a picnic dinner for us. My stomach is a bundle of nerves and I have no clue why. My little girl is my entire world, has been for her entire life.

  This is important to me.

  Ten minutes later, the truck is ready to go, so I head inside to where she’s playing with her dolls. Looking up at me from the couch, she smiles and I give her my best grin.

  “Ready to go, Lily bug?”

  “Yes, Daddy. Can I bring my bunny?”

  “Absolutely. Go use the potty really quick, okay?”

  Nodding, she bounds off the couch and goes racing for the bathroom. Ten minutes later, we’re heading down the road, Lily singing some song she loves from Trolls. Why she loves that movie, I have no idea. Personally, I think they’re creepy as all hell, but I digress. She gets excited when she sees us pull into my parents’
driveway, but I have to calm her down.

  “Nana and Papaw aren’t home, baby. We’re driving down into the backyard, okay?”

  “Okay,” she chirps, dancing along to the music.

  Their backyard is only about an acre, but it’s cleared and level, so it’s perfect for tonight. Driving around the house, I pull down as far as I can go, the sun only just getting ready to set. Parking the truck, I shut off the engine and turn to face Lily.

  “Ready, sweetheart?”

  “Oh yeah!” she shouts, pumping her little fist.

  Laughing, I mimic her and then get out of the truck. Pulling down the tailgate, I go around to get her out and then help her into the bed of my truck.

  “What are we doing, Daddy?” she asks, sitting on the piles of blankets.

  “Well, little lady, we’re gonna eat some turkey and cheese sandwiches, and then we can split the piece of chocolate cake I got us at the bakery. And then we’re gonna count the stars and talk.”

  Lily seems excited with the idea and gives me a thumbs-up. Climbing up into the truck with her, I sit cross-legged and dig into the cooler, handing her a sandwich I cut into quarters. We eat in comfortable silence, Lily completely enthralled with the sunset.

  An hour later, we’re lying on our backs, covered with a soft blanket.

  “Now that, Lily, is the Big Dipper, you see?” I ask, pointing up at the sky.

  She laughs and holds her own finger up too.

  “I see it, Daddy. It’s right thered!”

  I show her a few more of the constellations I know and then turn to look at her. In the soft glow of the night sky, my baby looks more beautiful than any little girl could, her wide eyes filled with wonder and excitement.

  “Hey, Lily bug?”

  “Hey, Daddy.”

  “Can I ask you something important?”

  Lily turns to look at me, not sitting up from her position.

  “Okay.”

  “What would you think about Emmy being your mommy?”

  Lily beams and her blue eyes sparkle.

  “I think that’s the bestest idea ever!” she exclaims, hugging my neck tightly.

  I laugh and pull her against me.

  “I want to ask Emmy to marry me, but I also want to ask her to be your mommy. What would you think if she adopted you, baby?”

  “What’s adopted?”

  “It means that your mommy and daddy will be together. You’ll have a mommy for the rest of your life. What do you think?”

  Sitting up in the truck, clutching her bunny, Lily smiles, and then her small face falls as she begins to cry loud, heart-shattering sobs.

  Sitting up, I pull her onto my lap and cradle her to me.

  “What’s the matter, sweetheart? I thought you wanted a mommy?”

  Sniffling, Lily raises her head, hair stuck to her wet cheeks.

  “Thank you, Daddy. That’s all I want.”

  “I love you, baby. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’m so blessed every day that I get to be your daddy. You know that, Lily bug?”

  Hugging me tight, she buries her face in my neck and sighs.

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  Rocking her back and forth, I run a hand through her tangled hair, thanking God for making me the happiest man on earth. I haven’t a clue how I got this lucky, but I did, and I’ll be forever grateful.

  CHAPTER 26

  Emerson

  TOMORROW I GO BACK to work. I’m still on leave of absence from school, but I’m ready to get back to work. I spent tonight with my parents, and Levi is still out with Lily, so I head inside the dark house, ready for bed and a good night’s sleep. I’m only working a five-hour shift and I don’t go in till noon, so I have plenty of time to be well rested, but I’m beat.

  It’s been a couple weeks since I finally told Levi everything, since the night I almost destroyed the only good thing in my life. I still hate myself for what I said to him, but I think in theory it was a good thing. It forced me to stop hiding and let everything out. And every day since then, we’ve only grown stronger.

  Locking the door behind me, I head upstairs to the shower. Letting it warm up, I step inside and quickly get washed, my long hair taking the most time. When I’m finished, I wrap myself and my hair in fluffy towels and head into the closet. Grabbing a long shirt and shorts, I get changed. I know I should dry my hair, but I’m not in the mood, so I towel-dry it the best I can and then toss it in a braid. It can be curly for work tomorrow.

  Climbing into bed, I grab my Kindle from the end table and turn to the book I’m reading, letting myself get lost in the pages.

  I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I’m startled awake by Levi climbing into bed next to me in just his boxer briefs.

  “Sorry, baby, didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, kissing my brow.

  “You didn’t. Are you just getting home?”

  “Yeah, it’s a little after nine. I did the dishes when I got back.”

  “Thank you,” I mumble, closing my eyes when his arms come around my waist, pulling me back against his solid chest.

  “You’re welcome. Love you, Em.”

  “Love you.”

  In seconds I’m asleep, not even remembering what it was I thanked him for.

  My first day back to work was amazing. It felt so good to get back to my normal daily routine. Stepping into the house, I shut the front door behind me and flip the lock.

  “Honey, I’m home!” I yell out with a laugh, tossing my purse on the table. Walking through the living room, I find my handsome man standing with his back to me, stirring something on the stove that smells heavenly.

  “Hey, baby.” The deep timbre of his voice sends tingles up my spine and I smile, walking over to him.

  “Hey. How was your final session?”

  “Good. Here, try this.” Levi holds out the spoon he’s using, and I hurry over to try it.

  “Holy hell, that’s so good. What is it?”

  “Hmm. Family recipe. Sworn to secrecy.”

  I pout and then laugh when he shrugs.

  “Oh, c’mon, I’m your girlfriend. I think I count as family. I mean, I’m sure I could persuade you.” I turn my back to him and stick my butt out, laughing when he groans.

  “Fine, you win. The secret? My momma cooked it. I reheated it.”

  “I figured. You burn ice cream.” Winking, I walk over to the fridge to pour myself a glass of wine. “It’s awfully quiet in here. Our sweet girl taking a nap?”

  “At my parents’ for the night. Lily wanted a sleepover with her nana.”

  “Aw, man. I was looking forward to hanging with my girl tonight.”

  Levi places the spoon in the pot and comes to stand in front of me, resting his hands at the small of my back.

  “Can I tell you a real secret, sweetheart?” His forehead drops to mine.

  “Of course.”

  “You calling my little girl ‘ours’? Best fucking thing ever.” Levi drops his lips to mine for a short yet passionate kiss that leaves my heart racing. It’s been so long since he’s kissed me like that and the emotions start bubbling, but I force them back.

  “I love her, Levi. I hope you know that. I’m gonna get changed. Is that almost finished? I’m starving.”

  “It’s ready when you are.”

  Leaning up on tiptoes, I kiss his stubbly cheek and turn to go upstairs. Grabbing a pair of sleep shorts and one of his work shirts, I change and throw my long hair up into a high bun. Rushing back downstairs, I find Levi setting the table, candles already lit in the center.

  “Levi…,” I begin, the back of my throat burning.

  “Come eat, baby.” He ushers me to a chair, holding it out for me. When I take a seat, he kisses the top of my head and then sits down across from me.

  “What is this?” I ask, picking up my glass of wine from before.

  “This is a beautiful dinner for my beautiful girl. It’s us toasting to the start of forever.” Levi holds u
p his own glass of wine and we clink them together.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, taking a sip of my drink.

  “Anything for you. Now eat before it gets cold.”

  Dinner is quiet, and I find myself growing nervous. I feel as though Levi has something up his sleeve, though I have no idea what. I pour myself a second glass of wine as he begins clearing the table. I’m lost to my own thoughts when music starts playing from his surround sound.

  “Dance with me,” he whispers in my ear, his hands coming down on my shoulders.

  Setting my glass down, I stand from the table and am swept into his arms, laughing when he steps on my bare foot.

  “Never said I could dance well,” he jokes, spinning me in a circle and then pulling me back into his arms. I run one of my hands up his back to his shoulder, the other resting at the back of his neck, fingers running through his hair.

  “You’re a terrible dancer, but that’s not why I love you,” I say, closing my eyes and letting my head rest on his chest. The low sounds of “Mind Reader” by Dustin Lynch swirl around us, and we sway back and forth.

  “Why do you love me?”

  Looking up at Levi, I don’t even hesitate with my answer.

  “You’re the most amazing man I have ever met. The way you’ve raised Lily, I’m so proud of you. Every time I’m in your presence, it’s like being a child on Christmas. I know every day with you is a gift, Levi. I feel loved, cherished. I feel like the luckiest person alive to be loved by you.”

  Levi bends down and kisses me softly as we continue to dance to the music. His lips don’t leave mine even when the song ends and the next one begins. And when he does break the kiss, he rests his cheek against mine and his grip on me tightens.

  “Hey, Em?” he whispers, not moving his head.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I make love to you?”

  My eyes pop open and I lift my head to look into his. I see no humor there, only love and respect. It takes me a second to react, but I slowly nod.